Tuesday, March 27, 2012

You'll Never Work in This Town Again - Part 2

I told DH my toddler play group stalking story and he said "Oh, yeah, that guy was there last week (when he brought LO)." He apparently chatted the guy up in daddy solidarity since they were the only men in the place.  DH said he felt like he knew the guy from somewhere but couldn't remember where.  In other words, he thought they'd met before.  DH is really bad at star sightings.  One night he swore left right and center that Natalie Portman was at a table near us in a restaurant.  After much not-so-covert head turning by everyone at our table, it turned out to be a 7-year-old girl with her grandmother.  Needless to say, DH had no idea who big time TV guy was when he was chatting him up.  So one day when we bump into him at, say, the farmer's market in our neighborhood, he'll see us, the stalker couple with the obnoxious, cow-snatching little girl who thinks he's her daddy, and run the other way.  I'll be sure to greet him with a loud Texan "Howdy" just for good measure.

Friday, March 23, 2012

You'll Never Work in This Town Again

I take LO to a play group at the preschool every week and this time one of the kids' dads came. He happens to be a popular TV personality, which was a surprise to me, but this being LA, everybody played it cool. It was funny, though to see the striking resemblance between him and his kid. Anyway, mister TV  persona was sitting down watching his kid play when LO went up to him, pointed and said "Daddy!" (She does this when we see dark-haired men sometimes who resemble DH). Well, instead of thinking it was cute and laughing, he got defensive and was all like "Uh uh, I'm not your Daddy" and quickly escaped to the other room. Like he was afraid his cover was blown or something.

So LO and I play in the kitchen area, where she sets up a little tea party. She pours the tea and sets a cup on a little saucer and carries it into the other room. I round the corner to find her offering it to big time TV guy who looks like he wants to climb the walls. I stand LO down and we chat for a polite minute about the merits of home-made play-doh, we back away and thankfully, LO takes interest in a different play area. But I'm convinced the guy now thinks I'm stalking him via my child.

Then came circle time where everybody sits in a circle with child on their lap and listens to a book reading and sings songs. LO is the only child of the bunch who will not sit with her parent. Instead, she stands in front of the instructor and dances until she's asked to sit or I drag her away. During her favorite song, "Jell-O in the bowl," LO let out one of her blood-curdling screams of joy (working on taming these) and was a wee bit obnoxious for the rest of the time, including snatching a plastic cow out of TV guy's kid's hands. The entertainment industry is a small world, so I'm just waiting for the day I have a job interview at TV guy's company and he spots me in the hallway and tells them not to hire me. Ugh!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Preschool Panic - Sorted!

LO got into our preschool of choice.  Hooray! The call came during LO's nap.  The director personally called to say they have a spot for LO.  I was so excited, I was fist pumping all afternoon until...I realized that it meant LO would attend 5 mornings per week.  Our backup preschool had 2 and 3-day options, which we were all set to do, but this school only allows 5 day-ers.  I became consumed with pre-separation anxiety at the thought of this.  She'll be in school for the rest of her life is my thinking.  A child that's 2.5 years old should be at home with her caregiver.  Right?  Then I look at LO and remind myself how much effort it takes to keep her stimulated all day, every day.  She needs the interaction with other kids and I can tell when we're at play groups that she's very out going and independent enough to handle it. In fact, it's going to me pining in the hallway outside her classroom, not the other way around. The idea has settled in and we've accepted it.  Now we're just excited and thankful to have gotten the slot. But don't think I won't be shedding a tear the first time I have to pack her little purple backpack.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Real Hunger Games

Cue sweeping, urgent music.

VO: In a world where toddlers rule and parents only think they have power,
The quest for nourishment is an ever raging battle...

MOMMY (offering broccoli): "Want a bite?"
LO: "No way!"

VO: Give her a vegetable and she'll hurl it to the four corners of the kitchen...

(LO hurls perfectly blanched french beans over her shoulder.  Mommy scolds.)

VO: Give her a cupcake, cookie, chocolate chip or ice cream of any flavor and she'll scarf it down ten seconds after declaring herself too full...

(LO stuffs chocolate chips in her mouth.): "Mmm.  I love it!"

VO: Can Mommy prevail or will little one send the veggies packing?

(Mommy puts broccoli in a cheese sauce in front of LO.  She picks broccoli out, eats cheese.)

(Mommy takes a bite of collard greens, makes sour face.): "Look, this is delicious!" 
LO (not sold): "Try again, Mommy." 

The Real Hunger Games -- coming to a kitchen near you soon.

May the odds be ever in your favor.